phuket.

Phuket, Thailand 14/05/08 - 17/05/08.

a rather memorable chapter in the lives of 4 young men.

this 4.

shopping, massage, jet ski, bangla street, "okay what callaar (colour)", "tuk tuk", "free show", "agogo", "you name me best price", "masssaggggggg", BOA and elva hsiao look-alike tranvestites, the nam the pong and the nonggg...

its a motherfucking unforgettable trip in both the right and wrong ways.

chew's near-death experience with the jet ski. haha. i will never forget that look of trauma on his face when he finally hit the shore. and my own, adrenaline pumping all the fears aside as we invincibly cut the giant waves at full speed and flew sky high. landed on my neck unfortunately. a hard hit. but it was worth it.

BANGLA STREET! what is geylang compared to here man. free show agogo! i admit. raging hormones did bring us into a couple of showcases afterall. that cheebye thai fuckhead's attempt to con us on the first night will go down as a blemish to the otherwise eye-opening experience.

suzy wong still the best. haha. but thong's high moral values and loyalty to his supposed girlfriend was quite a turn off on that night. okay larh mood spoiler to put it more aptly. not like we are gonna home run the showgirls what right. just know your limits we thought. even chew's getting on a high eventually. wasted. no fun. not enough. but no way back.

and the countless irritating shopowners lining the streets with their super hard sell attitude came as quite a shock. it is a massive price war i tell you. getting a kick out of slashing absurd prices they offer down to an acceptable low. afterall its fake imitations they sell throughout in the form of polos, tees, jerseys. think we stupid ah. i give you best price... i say fuck you.

and the thai massage. so strong is my masseuse that i thought she had broken my spine when she came stepping all over my back. quite relaxing. but certainly pain inflicting at some parts. but afterall 250 baht for a one-hour session is nothing to complain about la. reasonable offer.

and then there's the swimming pool sessions, sun tanning sessions, walking around in slippers everywhere you go, singha and red bull singlets the common uniform across the streets. It is somewhat the ultimate relaxation in the form of resort-style living.

not bad at all.

this year its red and white. again.

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS.

PERIOD.

chelsea who?

reflections

you see its hard. so hard. to suddenly come in and replace that other guy in her heart. 2 years and 10months. you are barely 3 months there you know. perhaps this is when you should tell yourself nope, your feelings for her are actually not that strong. its only 3 months on the road you nuthead. not even one tenth of what he meant to her if you would justify it quantitatively. so why take things so seriously with overexpectancy right from the start? remember what happened to you the first time round stupid boy. always remember...

but i guessed a person never change just like a leopard never changes its spots. i choose to go into it with all my heart. i choose to take the initiative and make an effort to make things work. the way that i was brought up, what i have been through, and what i have reflected upon and felt throughout my life has taught me never to take things for granted. just as well for relationships. never take the joy and blissfulness for granted. never take her presence beside you for granted. never assume that she will always care for you as much as you would care for her. i always believe in the notion that a relationship takes effort, time and careful thoughts to maintain. and when you are in doubt of what to do, always follow your heart. your heart leads you to where you long to be cos your heart never lies. and i chose to do that exactly. i know i missed her on times when i am thinking of her. i know i am frustrated and possibly flustered on times when i know i couldnt be there for her when she needs my support. i know i am jealous and affected when i see her hanging around so intimately with other guys. i know i long to beat that 2 year 10 months. but as you put your heart into it all, you cant help but hold back that little bit of optimism. you know you might simply not get what you deserved in return. obstacles will factor in. unknowing circumstances will ensue. she might be an angel in disguise. a devil even. and amidst all these uncertainties all might just come down to naught one day. but through it all, you can at least tell yourself that you have tried your very best, expended your every little ounce of energy and shed every single tear to leave with no regrets.

and so be it. i shall continue to pursue it this way and hopefully find the meaning to true love that every single person has always hoped and longed for. it can slip away or it can work out. it can be reciprocated or it can turn into shambles.

but if you have never given, then you can never take. nothing's granted.

me against the world

ever had the feeling that everything just seems to go wrong?

Man Utd 1 - 2 Chelsea

these days, the title is decided by referees.

how true. flabbergasted.

"ok lor up to you I don't like to force people... take care then!"

"does it matter?"

as a matter of fact i suck at words. so bad it hurts not only myself but her.

and then i was caught in the crossfire. company politics i deemed it. but of course, denials and more denials.

and "forced" to a chat with this "kevin". a guy who seems to be desperately seeking assurance and feeling an immense lack of security. trying to tell me how good he is. how knowledgeable.

jack of all trades and master of some...

did you come up with that yourself? can't you see i was holding back my laughter?
fuck you poly grad. you have no idea who the fuck you are talking to. and i have no idea what the fuck you are talking about. warehouse engineer? does engineering even do warehouses!? you must be kidding me.

and then the evening run that i had planned for, foiled by the sudden heavy rain from nowhere after one whole afternoon of scorchy hot weather. i was all wet.

and my back. whats up with my spine. it seems to hurt so bad.

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i can sense it slipping away. or perhaps it was never there to begin with. optimism? i had given up on it 2 years ago.

a day off.

23rd april 2008. 0730am.

"hi jennifer. i would like to take the day off as i am feeling unwell. sorry for this last minute notification."

23rd april 2008. 0742am.

"oknoproblem"

a "chaogeng" sick leave. so drained already larh. time to take a midweek break :)

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met my pretty darling for movies (wonder how much longer may i call you this anw)
TEETH is R21. so sad. sorry girl i couldnt pull it off... got rejected at the box office cos i'm 2 months early.

but THE OTHER BOELYN GIRL wasnt a bad alternative afterall.

and then MARTINI FIRM.
nice place. cool ambience and daybeds. pretty alluring theme huh.
that brat has got nice recommendations afterall. not surprising considering his full time "social escort" duties with the many different chicks. hmmm. bound to go places...

wah the SUPER MAGNUM dunno what dunno what LAGER is quite a fair bit for 2 persons. me and max are officially the BEERMEN. what we need next is a beer belly to top it off. definitely icing to the cake.

seems like a pretty rewarding day so far.

until man united had to draw 0-0 with barca.
so much for the 2 most exciting attacking teams of europe locking horns. bemusing.

containment is clearly no entertainment.

okay 2 more hours of sleep and we're back to work.

fuck.


-justaclown-

Dejavu

back to blogging all over again... been some time really eh.
and fuck that old one anyway. a new blog. a brand new start. i hope.

badverbaldiarrhoea.blogspot.com

make sure you remember this sluts and bitches. (sluts' for guys and bitches' for the...well... bitches:) ) if you are willing to go through this rollercoaster ride with me that is.

ok perhaps not so exciting. we shall see.

till then.

my virgin post.

-justaclown-