life has been kinda peaceful and quietened down once again. what i had longed for is no more, and i will just have to live with that. wrong time, wrong person, false hopes. there is no point harping about what could have been any more. she will never turn back when there are still so many possibilities and options open to her. everyone has got to move on right? if she is coping so well with that, why am i making it so hard for myself?

it takes time. but i will try. perhaps, distance does heal all wounds.

have been doing a bit of a reflection nowadays. probably attributed to the various turn of events brought upon me these days. had a little chat with gary during work that day. an avenue for R & R in the face of the mundane work taskings hehe. and topic of the conversation revolves around the GLAM CLAN; group of teenagers these days who stick together in pursuit of glamour. i mean, whats up with teens these days? attributed to the lucrative economic growth of the nation, it is almost ubiquitous that Singaporean teens of the modern era lead a materialistically comfortable life off the riches of their parents. and by that, it commonly ensues the pursuit of brands and an enchanted lifestyle in the eyes of others, obsessive with class and being the proverbial "cool" guy or gal out there who are deemed to be revered and admired by others. a fashionable high class socialite way of living if you would put it. clubs, pubs, lavish dining, posh cars, LV handbags, Gucci shades, Armani Xchange wear; these are somehow more and more commonly associated with young ladies and gentlemen of mere 20 or 21 years of age. my age. those who own it flaunt it, those who don't own any go to great lengths to acquire it just to look good and feel good. truth is, the societal norm is set and we are unadulterated followers of the trend. practicality seemed to have been thrown out of the window and in its place the desire for exorbitant "glamour". as a matter of exemplary fact, it is not hard to find clubbers who club not genuinely for the love of music and dancing but rather to be involved in the perceivedly "cool" clubbing culture. girls are nicely dolled up to look good, go wild and attract the attention of some cute guy on the dance floor, while guys, being the hormonally raging sex as we are, are just out to hook up some chicks. acts of indecency could suddenly become so nonchalantly natural under the dim lightings and trance of the music and seemingly excusable because of the effect of alcohol, and undesirable consequences subsequently beared could even be brushed aside with the "its only in the name of fun so don't take it to heart" notion.

values are somewhat degraded in the wake of this pursuit of teenage glamour. this urge to be different. this eagerness to stand out. quoting from real life examples, we somehow lose hold of our family ties, something that we used to hold dear to our heart from the very day we step into this world. independence you might call it; but when friends take over the place family have in your heart because you feel more at ease among your friends who share common beliefs with you, seek the same fun as you sought and live the same eventful lifestyle you desire, that is merely renewed dependence, a dependence on your friends whom you feel a sense of belonging to; the same sort of dependence that makes a baby stick with the mother all day long. truth is, family are often the disagreeing ones because they really care and want the best for you, while friends are often the agreeing ones just because they hate to disappoint. but we choose to distant ourselves from families on the basis of such dissensions and turn to outsiders for recognition and assurance of the things we do, regardless of right or wrong, and lose ourselves to such external influence. it is a calamity when parties, clubs, boozing and chill out sessions exclusively preclude the spending of quality time back home together with the family. staying home to watch dvds together with Mum and Dad in the comfort of the couch has suddenly become "unglam" and "boring" to some, with movie outings together with a friend the preferred chosen alternative. it seems as though we can hardly find our belonging in the family anymore and conveniently attribute that to the supposed lack of support and love given to our struggling selves back at home, simply because we didnt even bother trying to understand the genuine good willed intentions of our parents and give a damn about how they feel when we choose to be the lonesome reclusive self the moment we are back at home; and unremittingly seeking fun, company and excitement out of the house whenever we have the chance to.

are we even trying?

can we really find peace with ourselves basking in such presumptive glamour and captivating way of life, or are we just fitting in at the expense of the people and things we should truly hold dear to our heart? the responsibilty for your own actions, your accountability to others, the sympathetic heart, the moral uprightness, thriftiness, humility, honesty and truthfulness, practicality, discerning mind and contentment... we could all be losing such virtues bit by bit.